What have I NOT been up to?

Well, let's see....
It is NOT me who's been eating as if she were pregnant with triplets for the past couple of days.
It was NOT me who stayed in their pajamas for nearly 36 hours straight.
I also did NOT watch last week's episode of Cougar Town online and secretly enjoy it.
I wouldn't be the one who stayed up for hours playing stupid Facebook games all night.Nope.  Not me!
I did NOT stand in my kitchen while listening to really bad club-like music on a Kid's Bop cd and do the 'silly booty dance' for my kids to roll on the floor laughing at.  Nope.  Definitely NOT me!
The following sentences have NOT been said by me in the past week:
"In this house, we put dirty toilet paper in the toilet and not on the floor by the trash can!!"
"Please don't put your hand in there."
"Didn't I just tell you to put your clothes back on?"
"Our septic tank WORKS!  Flush the toilet!  I don't want to pee on your poo!"
"Yes, honey - it's perfectly normal to have green tinted poo sometimes.  Bright purple?  Not so much."
(yes - there's a potty theme going on here.  pretty standard for my bunch.)
It was so NOT me who poured my heart out to the sweet cashier girl at the gas station just down the road (who  sees me on a regular basis and knows my family) when she asked me how things were going with my husband and the divorce.  I did NOT gush all sorts of details as she stood there looking at me like I was a sad little puppy in need of some TLC.  And I for sure did NOT proceed to get in my car and cry my eyes out on the way home and continue to cry for the next three hours.  Nope.  That would NEVER be something I would do.

I'm not sure who the girl is that did and said all of those ridiculously sad things.  Whoever she is, I definitely don't envy her, and neither should you.
Here's to Monday's!  Dont'cha love 'em?


**If you enjoyed my "Not Me! Monday!" post, why not join the fun? This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have NOT been doing this week.